Gifts for Overthinkers (Who Will Overthink the Gift)

The best gifts for overthinkers are in on the joke. Whatever you hand an overthinker, they'll think about it for days: what it means, what you meant, whether they reacted correctly when they opened it. So give them something that names the habit with affection, removes a decision instead of adding one, and doesn't ask them to become a calmer person by Tuesday.

Our main recommendation is a shirt that roasts the voice in their head, paired with a book and one small object that actually helps. The rest of the list is cheaper, and some of it is free.

The books and objects below link to Amazon, and we earn a small commission if you buy through them. The shirts are ours.

The quick list

• The main event: You Spend All Day Talking to Yourself About Yourself, as a tee, racerback tank or tote, with Alan Watts's The Wisdom of Insecurity (opens in a new tab) and a good notebook (opens in a new tab).
• The follow-up: There Is Nobody Here, for the overthinker who's started meditating and is now overthinking that, with Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (opens in a new tab) and a ten-minute sand timer (opens in a new tab).
• Under-the-tree extras: a Magic 8 Ball (opens in a new tab), a pre-made decision, a walk with no podcast.

The shirt for the voice in their head

Every overthinker has a narrator: the voice that comments on everything, rehearses conversations that will never happen and replays ones that did, usually losing them both times. (We profiled it in inner monologue.)

You Spend All Day Talking to Yourself About Yourself is our gently rude tribute to that voice. It's a compliment and a roast at once: "I see you, and I see the four-hour internal debate you had about that email." It comes as heavy cotton and tri-blend tees, a racerback tank and a tote, the last one being ideal for carrying the twelve things an overthinker packs "just in case."

Will they overthink receiving it? Yes. They will wonder whether you're making fun of them. You are, lovingly. They'll figure that out around day three.

Pair it with a book: Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity (opens in a new tab) (1951), subtitled "A Message for an Age of Anxiety." Watts argues that a lot of our anxiety comes from trying to make life feel secure, and that the way out is paying closer attention to the present. It's short, warm and very quotable, which suits an overthinker, since they'll want to quote it back to you.

And one object: a Leuchtturm1917 notebook (opens in a new tab). Write "Thoughts That Can Wait Until Morning" on the first page. It has numbered pages, so they can find the 2 a.m. thought later and discover it was fine.

For the overthinker who discovered meditation

There's a specific kind of overthinker who took up meditation to quiet the mind and now thinks constantly about whether they're meditating correctly. For them: There Is Nobody Here. It's a nudge toward the idea, common to Buddhist and non-dual traditions, that the voice doing all the thinking isn't the whole story, and maybe isn't anyone at all. If they want the argument behind the joke, send them to you are not your thoughts.

Pair it with a book: Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (opens in a new tab) (1970), a collection of talks by the Japanese teacher who founded the San Francisco Zen Center. Its best-known line: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few." Ideal for someone trying very hard to become an expert at not trying.

And one object: a ten-minute sand timer (opens in a new tab). Turn it over, sit until the sand runs out, stop. It ends the session so they don't have to keep checking whether it's over, and it will never send a notification.

Our shirts are printed to order in the US, so allow 4 to 12 business days, and US shipping is free at $40 or more. If you're shopping for a holiday, give yourself a little extra time. You know who you're shopping for. They'd want a buffer.

Gifts for overthinkers that cost little or nothing

• A Magic 8 Ball (opens in a new tab). The one inexpensive object on this list. Let it make one small decision a day: lunch, which movie, whether to reply tonight. Five of its twenty answers are versions of "ask again later," so it understands them.
• A decision, made for them. Pick the restaurant. Book the movie. Present it as final. For an overthinker, a removed decision is a gift on par with jewelry.
• A walk with no podcast. Thirty minutes, outside, no input. It's mildly uncomfortable at first and then very nice.
• A card that says "I already thought about it so you don't have to." Then actually do that, for one thing.
• A phone-in-another-room hour. Make tea, put both phones in the kitchen, sit somewhere comfortable. Nobody has to talk about anything.
• A "no reply needed" note. Hand-write something kind and add "no reply needed" at the bottom. You've just removed an entire evening of drafting a response.
• A standing plan. "Thursday walks, same time, same route" is a gift that removes a weekly decision forever.

The Department of Non-Existence has received the overthinker's request for reassurance and approved it. The request was then resubmitted 14 times. All copies have been approved.

Why a funny gift works for an overthinker

Overthinkers are usually the first to joke about their own heads. They know the narrator talks too much; they've heard it all day. A gift that names the habit with affection says "I know how your mind works and I like you anyway," which is about the nicest thing an overthinker can hear. It also gives them a line to use. Wearing a shirt that says what everyone's thinking means they don't have to explain it.

How to give a gift to an overthinker

The gift is half the job. The other half is not creating anything new to overthink.

• Say why you picked it. One sentence is enough: "This made me laugh because it's you." Without it, they'll spend days deciding what you meant.
• Don't say "open it later." They won't sleep. Let them open it in front of you and get it over with.
• Remove the guesswork about returns. If you're unsure about size, tell them it's fine to swap, so the question doesn't sit with them.
• Keep the card short. Long cards get reread and analyzed. Short cards get smiled at.
• Follow up once, lightly. A single "did it fit?" is kind. Three is a new source of worry.

A gentle note

Overthinking is a common habit and a fair target for a joke between friends. Anxiety is something else. If the person you're shopping for is going through a hard time, skip the funny shirt this round and pick something simply kind, like time together or practical help. A joke works best when they're already laughing about it themselves.

The short version

Give an overthinker something that sees them clearly and asks nothing of them. The talking-to-yourself design does the seeing, the notebook and the sand timer do the helping, and the free ideas above do the asking-nothing. For more ideas across all four designs, see gifts for nihilists, which works surprisingly well for overthinkers too.

Sources

• Cover art: attributed to Mathias Stoltenberg, Portrait of a Woman (c. 1820), Art Institute of Chicago, CC0
• Internal monologue (Wikipedia)
• Shunryu Suzuki (Wikiquote), including the beginner's mind line from the Prologue
• Shunryu Suzuki (Wikipedia)
• Magic 8 Ball (Wikipedia)
• The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety (Open Library)